It just so happens I forgot to post this before the games ran. But since I am the consummate professional, I am still going to reveal them here. Some of them were slightly off:

• If only the Oakland Raiders could score a little bit, they might have a chance against the Broncos.
• I think it's safe to say that due to the new NFL concussion rules, we won't see any tackles this Sunday.
• Carson Palmer has been absolute crap, time to drop him from my fantasy team.
• If there's a safe time to interrupt a man with a loud yell to challenge the quality of his razor blades, it's as he's pulling the sharp tip across his neck. Well done Gillette.
• Well, the one thing I like about replay is it allows them to always figure out what happened. They never just saw, we're not sure, I guess the Steelers win.
• Poor Cleveland Browns, you're not gonna know what hit you when the Saints get done with you.
• Let's be honest with each other, we all like the guy in the Miller Lite commercial's sequined dragon shirts. Just like we all like light beer with more taste, even if that taste is ass.
• Philadelphia isn't a great team, but they really perform in the 4th quarter.
• There will be a big increase in men willing to do things with their wives this week in Carolina and San Francisco, as the only NFL on TV for today will be these awful teams playing each other.
• Note to Jared: When your Subway weight loss diet menu adds footlong breakfast food, it's time to reconsider just how healthy it is.
• If the Chargers can't manage to hold the Patriots to under 37 yards in the first half, they are going to be in a big hole.

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Like all sports analysts, I like to make predictions about what will happen each Sunday of the NFL season. While most predictions the so-called experts make are completely wrong once the games happen, and they move right along as if they never made them, I have no problem showing mine to the world.

It just so happens I forgot to post this before the games ran. But since I am the consummate professional, I am still going to reveal them here. Some of them were slightly off:

• Jimmy Clausen will be just as awesome as he was at Notre Dame.
• If there's one steadfast strategy that always works, it's icing the kicker. Those guys do not think about the fact they are about to either win or lose a game, until that extra 30 second break happens.
• So someone told me that Jimmy Johnson is in this season of Survivor? I never would have known, since they never mention him in promos or on sports talk radio...
• This is the week that Michael Vick is revealed as a fraud, and we can finally go back to that great Kolb guy.
• They only play each other every 4 years, and finally the Texans can prove they are the best team in Texas for the next couple of years.
• The laundry guy will definitely remember to wash the jerseys so that the Chicago Bears aren't forced to don the uniforms that teams wear in beer commercials when the advertisers don't want to pay the NFL licensing fees.
• I like Pittsburgh's depth, but there is no way they can win with their 5th string quarterback.
• 1.5 gallons of beer in a plastic bottle is a lot like 1 gallon of wine in a box.
• Braylon Edwards will be so upset about being benched for one quarter, I don't see him being much of a factor. No one can recover from the disdain of 15 minutes on the sidelines.
• The Detroit Lions always lose, that is what the last decade has taught us. But they are going up against Interception Machine Brett Favre. With their awful QB they don't have a chance, but Favre will probably complete more balls to them than the other team.
• The new Mercedes-Benz cars can tell their drivers that they are horrible drivers and rich douches who can afford a Mercedes-Benz.
• The New York Giants might just be the best team in New York.
• Buffalo Wild Wings would like to remind you, they have been ruining fair sporting events for over 10 years.
• Even I, in all the horrible predictions I've made over the past 3 years, can't pick the Buffalo Bills over the New England Patriots. There's just no way that can happen, even in my obviously fake day too late predictions.

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"It's gonna be rough, not being here to help this hospital," said Oden. "I'm out here, playing this basketball stuff, and all I can think about is my teammates back at the medical center who I'm not there to give support to. Who is going to help Dr. Williams make the rounds in the burn ward?

"Those poor burn victims who are used to saying 'Hey! Aren't you that basketball player who everybody thought was going to be really good out of college?'. Seeing a burned out athlete makes them feel good, and take their thoughts off their burned out faces."

The Portland Trailblazers team say that they hope to get Oden back into the hospital soon.

"We know he's a big part of that place," said head coach Nate McMillan. "And judging by how giant and awkward he is out there on the court, I think we can have him back where he belongs in no time. We're just going to keep playing him hard, and by the third or fourth game, he should be crumpled up under the basket with some type of injury."

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