Monday Feb 19
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Washington To Sell City Naming Rights Of Wizards To Highest Bidder

The mayor of Washington D.C. has officially put the city naming rights for the Washington Wizards up for sale, following yet another loss that sent them to 7-30 on the season. Often stadiums and arenas will put their naming rights up for sale, but never before has a team offered to change the name of their city for a price.

"This team is an embarrassment," said Mayor Adrian Fenty. "We are getting ready to usher in a new U.S. President that will change the face of Washington, there is excitement in the air, and then we have this team here to bring us down. Other foreign leaders laugh at the fact our capital's team is so horrendous at basketball. Just yesterday at a peace conference, Russian Prime Minister Putin was mocking the Wizards for being foolish enough to sign Gilbert Arenas to a $100 million deal when he can't make it through a 7-game series without getting injured. It's shameful. Therefore, we are selling the city naming rights to the highest bidder."

Fenty went on to say that the rights could be purchased by either another town or a corporation, just so long as it no longer says Washington on it. This gives the chance for smaller cities that have always wanted a real NBA team such as Dover, Delaware or Providence, Rhode Island to finally get their name on a team. Several companies have expressed interest in the team, which could result in a name change to the T-Mobile Wizards or possibly the International House Of Pancakes Wizards.

Fenty reminded prospective buyers that the team will stay in the city, they are just looking to change the name and disassociate it from the capital. Only time will tell how this first of it's kind endeavor turns out.

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The Arizona Wildcats team does NOT regret the decision to play a football game wearing their PJs.