Monday Feb 19
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Indianapolis Colts DB Bob Sanders Injured While Getting Injury Assessed

Indianapolis Colts defensive back Bob Sanders was injured yesterday during a routine exam by the doctors who were trying to assess the extent of his injuries from last Sunday's game. Sanders, who has yet to play a full NFL season, and has missed at least ten games in five of his six NFL seasons, tore a biceps muscle during the team's opener against the Houston Texans. 

"He's a great player, but he just has trouble staying away from injuries," said Dr. Tom Garrett, to reporters in the midst of the exam. "I just hope that we've been able to...oh no! Bob!"

Dr. Garrett quickly spun around to see Sanders had fallen off the exam table.

"Well, crap! You take your eye off this guy for one second, and he falls off an exam table and separates his shoulder. This could be bad, I'm going to have to ask you reporters to leave now."

All in all, Sanders sustained 7 injuries while at the doctor's office today. Ranging from a pulled hamstring while changing into a hospital gown, to a concussion when he bumped his head on the catscan machine, to what doctor's believe to be the first ever non animated person to ever slip on a banana peel and fall comically to the ground.

"Yes, the banana peel was probably my fault," said Dr. Garrett after the exam. "I had one for a snack and left it on the ground. I've never seen a real person trip on one of those and fall backwards onto their arm. I don't know what to do for a banana peel injury, but I've got an assistant watching Tom & Jerry now to see if he can find a proper treatment."

Sanders injuries today were so extensive, he was going to need to be put in the intensive care unit to be kept alive. But doctor's realized he would probably just die from more injuries on the way to being hooked up to all the machines, so they placed him in an empty padded room. While not a usual practice, they think he'll be the safest there. They are going to check on him again in a few days and see if he's healed at all.

We tried to find a picture of Bob Sanders actually playing football and not in the process of being injuried, but were unable to locate any. It's believed there are less pictures of a healthy Bob Sanders than of Bigfoot. They all feature him in a cast/street clothes, or in the midst of a break, tear, or strain.

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