Tuesday Nov 25
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Dallas Cowboys Given Two Losses For One Game

After the first Sunday of the NFL season had taken its course, fans woke up to find a rather odd set of standings for the NFC East.

According to NFL.com, the Dallas Cowboys are listed as 0-2, while the Washington Redskins are listed as 0-0-1.

This is rather odd because not only have the Cowboys only played one game – making their 0-2 rather odd – but the Redskins actually beat the Cowboys 13-7 on Sunday night and should be 1-0.

While Sunday night’s victory was victorious Sunday night, to say that Washington played well is beyond a stretch. The team’s only touchdown came on a DeAngelo Hall fumble recovery on a play that shouldn’t have been run in the first place.

Still, the scoreboard at the end of the game showed that the ‘Skins had won.

“I am a bit confused,” said Redskins coach Mike Shanahan. “I mean, it wasn’t pretty, but we did technically win didn’t we.”

Yet despite many reputable newspaper reporting that the Redskins had won, the NFL standings told a different story.

To explain to the fans the situation, Roger Goodell came out with this statement:

“What we saw on Sunday night was not anyone winning, but a disgrace to football. The Redskins did nothing to win that game so I cannot in good conscience give them a win in the standings. That being said, the Cowboys were not only beaten on the scoreboard, but they essentially did everything they could to lose. For that reason, I feel that I must punish them by giving them an extra loss.”

Immediately following the statement, Shanahan started writing up his appeal that many say will certain reverse the decision because Goodell has no precident for his actions. Wade Phillips too launched a protest with the league office.

"What's that, Dallas wants to argue this decision too?" asked Goodell when told of the appeals. "Well you know what? Detroit didn't really deserve that loss yesterday, so bam, the Cowboys get that one too! 0-3! Congrats Lions, you don't have to worry about that call any more."

"This is totally outrageous!" added Wade Phillips.

"There's another one Cowboys!" yelled Goodell. "0-4! You're about one loss away from being mathematically eliminated from the playoffs after week one. I got losses to give out all day long. And you know what, there's been a lot of talk about taking away Heisman trophies recently, I'm gonna dock you two Heismans as well. I don't know how you'll get them, but you buy some, and then send them to me."

"Well, shit. At least I'm not fired yet," said Wade Phillips. "I still have a couple more weeks to go before that happens..."



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